You Know You're A Desi In America When...

• You ask for small drink at fast food restaurant because the refill is free.
• You know more than one plan offered by long distance phone companies.
• You take plain water instead of Coke for lunch. (may also be a health nut)
• You take any drink with no ice because you can't drink ice.
• You ask before eating any meat "Is this beef?".
• You try to ignore all other unknown desi's around you.
• You tell your friends about this wonderful opportunity, and invite them to an Amway meeting
• You know all the facilities available at public library.
• You talk to Americans as if you represent your whole country.
• Your stove top in your apartment is covered with aluminum foil.
• You frequent to yard sales every week.
• You find taco bell sauce packets in your kitchen drawer.
• Your dinner involves spreading newspaper on the living room floor.
• You take off your shoes before stepping foot in your living room.
• You like onion rings at Burger King.
• You are looking for dual voltage appliances.
• The phrase "When are you going to India" comes into your conversation at least once a day.
• You bought Toyota or Honda car only because it has better resale value.
• The number of long distance calls is more than domestic calls.
• You keep switching your internet service provider because the first month is free.
• You go back to your apartment for lunch.
• Your full name contains more than 15 characters.
• You know all the $1.50 theaters in your city.
• The only reason you go to a temple on festivals is because there is free food.
• You have spent nights in the car while traveling because you wanted to save money spent on cheap motel.
• You don't know any American outside your work.
• You tried to flirt with the Hindi speaking operator at AT&T.
• You have at least one India made pressure cooker in your kitchen.
• You know how much a 7 layer burrito costs at Taco Bell.
• You run to Laundromat in your lungi.
• You put oil in your hair.
• You have a picture of Indian deity on the dashboard of your car.
• This thought comes to you "Oh shit I just saw another desi" when you are window shopping at the mall.
• You keep comparing prices at circuit city for the phone you bought six months ago.
• The lawyer handling your green card is in your speed dial.
• You are compelled to visit ever major city in the US, just so as to say that "Yes I have been there"
• You are comfortable with an American than an ABCD.
• You have been to Mexico or Canada for multiple entry H1 Visa.
• You pay your bills the day they come in mail.
• You spent 2 days cleaning your apartment before leaving so you can get full security refund from landlord.
• You have a bucket in your bath tub.
• You have to borrow luggage from friends for an India visit.
• The smoke detector goes off whenever you are cooking dinner.
• You know which grocery store keeps coriander.
• You buy butter milk before you run out of it.
• You use grocery bags as garbage bags.
• You say 'Damn I have already seen this show" whenever you are watching Married With Children.
• You buy rice in the 20 pound bags.
• Office supplies mysteriously find their way into your house.
• You don't want to buy a printer because you can always use the office printer.
• You have postponed buying that answering machine because the computer you are planning to buy six months later has a built answering machine.
• Your idea of fun involves bowling.
• You starts spelling your name to the operator like A as in Apple, B as in boy, T as in train...well you get the idea.
• You ask another desi if he/she ever got a traffic ticket.
• You haven't had a single female in your apartment besides your friend's wife.
• You bring over the counter medicines like Iodex and Vicks from India.
• You decide to marry a girl, your parents fixed without even meeting her.
• You know the current differential in gold prices between India and US.
• You smell like a curry.
• You go to a temple to pick up a women.
• You have worked illegally in a Guju's motel.
• You mark your forehead with scared ash.
• You have a bought a video camera just before Niagara trip and returned it after the trip.
• You wear VIP/Indian brand underwear and undershirts.
• You have Rin (detergent soap cake) in your bathroom.
• You have taken pictures of your car and mailed it to your folks back home.
• You use the credit card with maximum cash back.
• You have collected enough frequent flier miles for an international trip.
• You are saving more that 30% of your salary.
• You have never asked a girl out. (you might just be plain ugly too)
• You've bookmarked immigration web pages in your browser.
• You know your friends salaries!
• You tried to talk in a phony accent with the freshie in the school.
• You have asked a PhD student for a ride to grocery store.
• There are more that 4 guys living in a 2 bedroom apartment.
• You have cooking schedule in your kitchen cabinet.
• You spend at least 2 evenings in a week at Kmart.
• You split even the tax out of your common grocery bill.
• You complain about Indian international airports on your first vacation to India.
• You take 4 week long vacation.
• You are the first to know about any on campus job openings at the school library/cafeteria/computer center.

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